Starting Again

How do you start again?

Do you

• throw away everyhing
• selectively keep bits and pieces
• continue with all that you had
• punt?

I really don't know how to start again, after both of my adoptive parents have died.  Since I arrived here October 5th, 2008, I've had hell most every day.  I'm no hero but I endured it and most days, I survived somehow.

Somewhere between the Alzheimer's Disease my dad was suffering and the terminal Cancer my mum got, I lost the ability to reason for myself.  I managed to make day-to-day decisions regarding small things, but now that I'm faced with the big things, I don't see any way to decide.

 I need to sell everything that belonged to my parents or give it away and I've accomplished a little of that already.  I also have to sell their house, as well as mine.  I need to plan and make that plan work to accomplish something positive and gainful.

I don't mean to be greedy.  I need to move from this area because it's the last place on Earth I wanted to be and there really isn't much in the way of work or anything else.  It's practically a 50 mile drive to anything that was 20 minutes' drive at maximum from my last place.  Besides that, I am miserable.

I can't change my attitude completely just by moving.  That's so true.  However, when you have misery staring you in the face, do you want to look at misery every day, is it enjoyable?  I think not.

I have choices:

• California
• Florida
• Philadelphia/New Jersey/Delaware
• Hawaii

I've also thought about other countries such as Australia, Germany, or Malaysia.  I'd like something warm and close to other Asians and possibly close to Japan.

Australia has the advantage of being somewhat close to Japan, as well as being a country of English speakers.  The state of Queensland seems to have good weather, sans flooding.  An 8 hour flight would return me to Japan.

Germany is quite orderly and I've found over the years that I seem to understand Germans fairly well.  There are Asians scattered across the countries and of course, Japanese companies have a presence there, as they do in most countries.

Malaysia would seem an odd pick, wouldn't it?  It's hot and humid, being in Southeast Asia.  It's not quite a third world country but it possesses a lot of those qualities.  It can also be advanced, remote, and friendly.  It's also rather inexpensive, especially compared to its neighbor Singapore, which has a high cost of living and some interesting, invasive laws.

Of course, the states would be the most logical choices.

Hawaii and California have huge Asian populations and expensive and relatively inexpensive areas.

Metro Philadelphia can be both expensive and inexpensive, depending on whether you drive or not.  When I moved there in 1988, it was the most expensive metro area in the U.S.A. for driving and owning a car.  It's a great place to live, though, and the food is amazing.  Changes to the city of Camden, NJ across the Delaware River have made it a dangerous area, too.  If I had a desire to live, and I currently don't, it might be a bit restrictive.  However, I ate Thanksgiving dinner in an area which was under siege at one point and never, ever saw or heard a weapon.

Florida would be good for a temporary location.  It was the last place I lived and I could complete some university degrees more easily.  The main drawback would be how rude the people are.  Maybe, an area other than Orlando would be better.  Miami seemed pleasant.  How's my Spanish?

I've got a lot to decide.  It'll be difficult to leave with a car, a bike, a camera, a computer, and some clothes.  I'd better keep my ramen bowls, too.